What a difference...

...a weekend makes! This past weekend wasn't spent on the sands of a remote island with an umbrella drink and a cute waiter (dang!) but it was relaxing, fun and refreshing! It was just what I needed! I woke up today with a smile - totally ready for the week. Ok, that sounds kinda cheesy, but it's so true!

It started with my beautiful sister Kellie's birthday on Friday. Big 27! We dined together at the Pope's table...what fun! Here are some pics:

Then there was a party on Friday night! More pics:

Melissa and I did not intend to dress EXACTLY alike either!! :) Kellie was gorgeous and everyone had so much fun!

So then came Saturday! It started with kickboxing. Woohoo! Then I drug my friend Jordana out of bed and we had our nails done, lunch and a movie! After that, since I almost always have a strong urge to be productive, I washed my car! Go me! Finally, Saturday night was spent at a dueling piano bar. At one point we were standing behind the woman that was playing the piano and she said into the mic "I feel like the Supremes with these girls behind me." hehe! It was so much fun! I got a great pick up line that night too. It went like this:

Guy: "You are so cute. I love your dimples."

Me: "I only have one dimple."

Guy: "I love your dimple. Wanna go halves on a baby?"

HAHA! Funny guy!!

You must be thinking that my weekend couldn't have got much better! :) But Sunday was great too! I have been wanting to try a new church and it just so happened that my wonderful, beautiful friend Lavay wanted to go with me! So we went and listened to a nice sermon, then we had breakfast together. Part of the sermon that morning was on fasting. So, at breakfast afterward, we were talking about what we could fast from. :) Lavay said that she should fast from the internet. I wondered what I could fast from. This is how the conversation went:

Me: "I wonder what I can fast from. I don't really want to fast from food."

Lavay: "Well what do you do after work? Do you watch TV?"

Me: "No, I almost never watch TV."

Lavay: "Do you clean?"

Me: "Yes, I usually clean and do stuff like that."

Lavay: "There you go, you can fast from cleaning!"

Both: "Woohoo!!!" :)

So that was a great time. Then later, I took a nap (so unlike me but great!), got new running shoes, and went running to close out the day!

I had such a great weekend that I wasn't even phased when I got a flat tire on Friday (for the third time in a few short months) or when I hit a pole today with my car. I just laughed at myself for being such a dumbass. :)

Now for a great week!

Feeling Sorry?

Am I the only one that has those days where you hate everybody and everything? You know, those days when you overhear people talking and you can't help but roll your eyes because they just sound so shallow, or when someone says something to you and you tell them they're lucky you don't have a rock (because you would throw it at their head)? Those days when you are so busy that you can't stop to eat or use the bathroom even and everyone keeps bugging you about something? Well, that was today for me. Only, as much as I tried and tried to feel sorry for myself, I was consistently reminded that the world does not revolve around me, and that I am incredibly blessed.

A couple examples...It started with someone telling me a story about starving children in Africa....yes someone actually talked to me about this today. So why am I constantly angry at myself for eating badly? How lame I must sound to He who listens to my thoughts.....there goes Erin complaining about eating a brownie again...gees someone give that girl a clue!

Then, in getting dressed to work out, I realized I forgot my sports bras. And, oh, my toe was in such pain from running so much in my old shoes! Whatever was I going to do?! Because it was SO HOT out today I just couldn't bear to run outside, so I went to the indoor gym and it was locked! Boo! Poor me!! Just then, I was told that the teacher was coming to unlock it for the adaptive PE class. The adaptive PE class is for those students with physical or mental disabilities who need to or wish to participate in physical education. SLAP! Again, is someone available to give this girl a clue?

Obviously someone did today, on more than one occassion. Now I just wonder why He goes through so much trouble. Why not just trip me and watch me fall and skin my knees while exclaiming "There! Now you have something to cry about!!"

A Card For My Future Husband

I know, I'm a bit nutty, but I was at my favorite store (Ok yes it was Target) tonight in the greeting card section and I just happened to see the CUTEST card ever!

On the front were two monkeys sitting next to each other in bed. Ok fine, I took a picture so that you woudn't picture two real live monkeys sitting in bed, because I don't think that would be as cute.

So, here's the front:

And the inside said "...and my naughty, naughty little mattress monkey. Happy Birthday"

I swear, I almost bought it to give to my husband...uhhh....if I have one some day. haha

Before I marry someone (if and when), I will first make sure that he is the kind of guy I can give a card like this to (and mean it)...and the kind of guy who will think it is as cute as I do! :)

(Maybe that's why I might have trouble finding a husband hehe!!)

Rough Day

Anyone have days that are just bad?

Well today was one of those for me.
The happy parts are highlighted.

Looked pretty cute today, if I do say so myself.
Got to work early so I could take a long lunch.
Drank coffee.
Worked while thinking of everything but work.
Wandered around aimlessly.
Counted down the minutes to 11:15 so that I could leave for lunch.
Met friend at Yardhouse for lunch.
Ate seared ahi. Yum.
Got gas.
Went back to work.
Worked while thinking of everything but work.
Wandered around aimlessly.
Thought of calling in sick tomorrow.
Talked with coworkers about drinking and making out.
Ate chocolate cake.
Ate mini cinnamon rolls...4 of em.
Ate 1 piece of red licorice. (Why do my coworkers do this to me?)
Wondered why the clock still said 2:15.
Asked for an hour of vacation so I could go running with a coworker at 3:30.
Left work one hour early to go run.
Ran from the office to a nearby mini mountain.
Ran up the mountain.
Ran down the mountain.
Saw a beautiful view and thought of how awesome God is.
Ran back to the office...6 miles total.
Drove home.
Listened to Take My Hand by Dido many times throughout the day (in car, while running). If it's not on my playlist, listen to it here: http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=qpVM_az0Zjw
Stopped for water and a scratcher.
Didn't win.
Got home.
Saw the boys. Congratulated Brenden on his perfect spelling test and SUPER DAY happy note!
Looked at homework.
Helped Ethan with algebraic word problems.
Did dinner.
Did laundry.
Sprayed ants.
Cleaned up ants.
Dumped trash.
Made lunches.
Got sick.
Yes, I can't breathe and I keep sneezing. This is because I thought about calling in sick tomorrow, isn't it!?
Read some blogs.
Drank some Airborne.
Got mad at Brennie for asking me thirty times if he could have airborne too even though I told him no the first time.
Washed Brennie up very quickly.
Hugged the boys.
Wrote this blog while staring at a pile of laundry that needs to be folded.
And I am currently waiting for a phone call from my ex husband so he can tell me which items he sold for our son's fundraiser. The order forms are due tomorrow and I only have one kid's form. This means that he has to tell me each thing that was ordered, and I have to pay for it all. I hope he pays me back.
Brenden just came in and hugged me.

So that's it.
After writing it out, I guess it doesn't look so bad. Ok, it wasn't so bad. It was the thinking and the wandering that got me down. But now to bed and pleasant dreams.

Brown Bag O' Fun

My sister and I live together and we often share clothes. I was washing some clothes tonight when I realized that she may have borrowed the jeans I want to wear tomorrow which meant they may have been in her hamper. I walked into her room and checked. No jeans. Good. But there, sitting on her nighstand, was a brown paper bag, stapled twice on the top, with my name across the front "Erin T."



Whatever could it be?......?........?.........




I love surprises!

God Blessed Me With a Divorce

I know, you probably read the title and followed it with a big "HUH?" Divorces are awful, right?

Well, keep thinking that for a few because I don't have time to write about this right now but I will later tonight. :) Thanks to Trisha for our discussion today because I was reminded again how thankful I am for the hidden blessings in my life.

[Oh, and note to self...don't forget to write the blog about the "stick" mom bought for you - sheesh! :)]

Ok I'm back. So, yes, God blessed me with a divorce.

Some background: My divorce was one of the most difficult things I have ever gone through. I didn't want it. I prayed almost constantly to God for days and days...longer...asking Him to bring my family back together. One night I couldn't stop crying and I couldn't sleep either and I was exhausted. I talked to my ex husband's grandpa Luther on the phone that night and told him what I was going through. He told me to pray. I told him I was. He told me to pray loudly, scream if it made me feel better. So I sat there and practically begged God to help me sleep and to take the horrible thoughts away from my mind, if only for a little while. That is the last thing I remember before waking up the next morning. That prayer was answered.

But others weren't. My marriage ended and I became a single mom. I never thought I would be a single mom. For what was probably more than 6 months, I would just start crying at work. I would cry in the car. I was a complete mess.

Later after my divorce was final, one year after we first separated, I was feeling better. I wasn't feeling like my old pre-divorce self though. I was feeling like my pre-marriage self. I was happy! I was alive! The light was back in me. In noticing this and in talking with those closest to me, I realized how incredibly unhappy I was during my marriage. My sister said it best when she told me that "misery spewed from my pores." I was stuck in a loveless marriage with a person who I resented for so many reasons. And God gave me an out. He didn't answer my prayers.

Thank you God for unanswered prayers!!!!!

I was a poet once...sort of...

Anyone who's ever moved (so everyone) knows what it is like to come across things you haven't seen forever. Last night, as I was looking for something that I thought I had packed in my giant pink suitcase, I pulled out an old photo album full of poems I wrote in high school. I don't even remember packing the album in there, but my bad memory is not the topic of this blog. So anyway, just now I decided to read some of the poems. Instantly, they brought me back to a teen aged, hormone driven love and lust saga that filled quite a few years of my life... Anyway, I have always been quite the "feeler," and as a teenager, everything was intensified. Everything was earth shattering. Everything was dream ending. I was dramatic. Way over-dramatic. But at the time I didn't know it. I just thought I was in love, and in pain, and all of that teen aged hormonal craziness. I also thought I was a pretty good writer at the time but reading these things now only makes me laugh. Here are a few samples:

Life 10-12-94
What can I do in this world of misery, in this world of violence and sin?
What can I be, a glimmer of hope, ever since I was invited in.
When the curtain falls and the laughter dies and the people all go away
When we start to cry and no one asks why, that's when I'll be asked to stay.
I won't be able to leave my sadness, this crazy world of trends,
I'll have to stay and live it out until the carousel ends.
I'll be stuck here with nothing to lose except for maybe my soul,
Cuz here I am all alone, waiting in this hole.
Time goes by and nothing changes but nothing stays the same,
Everyone uses, laughs at and cries in this terrible, ruthless game.

Haaaaa

Please Forgive Me 10-17-94

Please forgive me, Please love me, Please don't leave me, Please want me

Please keep yourself safe, Please keep yourself well

Please be happy, Please don't go to Hell

Please keep me, Please stand above me, Please know I am here

Please help me, Please trust me, Please keep yourself near

Please please me, Please show me, Please run with me there

Please teach me, Please hear me, Please look at me, stare

Please kiss me, Please notice me, Please fuck me, Please care

Please always remember me, Please never forget

Please stay here with me, Please don't leave yet.

HaaaaaHaaaaa

And finally something uplifting...kinda...

Love Yourself (Better Things) 6-28-94

Sing a song, laugh out loud

Show yourself and be proud

Don't hide with masks and things

Take off and fly with imaginative wings

Love yourself, believe in you

Better things will shine through

Don't be judgemental, leave hatred behind

Love everyone, be gentle and kind

Keep on thinking better things

And more than likely that's what tomorrow will bring.

I think that's enough for now, yes? hehe

New Books

There are so many things that I want to write about: my mom, ghosts, my grandma, trail mix, the list does not end.

For now though, as I sit here stuffing my mouth with yogurt almonds, I only want to say that I am really excited about two new books I bought today. The first, "The Invisible Wall," is a memoir written by Harry Bernstein. It takes place during World War I and is "a love story that broke barriers" about a Jewish girl who falls in love with a Christian boy who lives on the other side of the invisible wall in their neighborhood. The second, "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn," by Betty Smith is one my mom recommended. It is a novel about "a young girl's coming of age at the turn of the century." I can't wait to start.

Game, Set, Match

Match, Match, Match...that's what us online daters call Match.com. We are too cool, I guess, to say "dot com" after the word "match". So, yes, I admit it...I did the online dating thing for a little while. It was interesting to say the least. I recently stopped - for now - only because it takes a lot of work and attention and honestly, I'm just not in the mood for that right now. But I will remember my days on Match fondly. I will especially remember the men who were sweet, sincere and charming. Even if I didn't meet these men, I will remember the way they made me feel inside just by being themselves and sharing a piece of that with me. I think an example or two would be helpful here.


We have the men who are very sentimental and sweet...
Example 1:
Hi sweetheart, I read your profile and you seem very interesting to me. I like what you are saying in the profile and I am looking for only one and one girl like you to be my life partner with whom I can stay forever together. I believe in commitment and one day I would like to get married and I have not found beauty with brain like you in my life. Your photos are great too; especially I like your beautiful eyes and nice hair. I like your dress too. I am not looking for quantity; I am looking for the quality girl like you. If you liked my profile please write me back so that we can start communicating.
I have been living here since 8 years by myself and sometimes it gets lonely, now its time to start my own family. I would like to have woman like you in my life.

We also have the comedians...

Example 2 (In response to my naming of my best feature as my hair):
just a note................HAIR ? My dear you don't know us(men) very well!!!!!!! LOL take care

And then we have the nearly speechless...

Example 3:
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do i need to say anymore, but again WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Example 4:
I think I'm in love..........................

As much as receiving emails like these has meant to me, I feel like my head might explode if I have to read another one. Goodbye for now Match.com, may we meet again someday...if you're lucky. :)

Love and Marriage

I used to believe that "anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of your time". Then I had several check-ins with reality and I now wonder if that type of love actually exists.

Today I carpooled to work with my wonderful, beautiful mom. (Post on my amazing mom and the sermon on mercy the other day to come soon). On the way home, she started talking about how my dad was acting yesterday and how she can't stand it. I should say here that my dad is a WONDERFUL dad and all-around good guy. Both of my parents are remarkable people. They have been married for almost thirty years. They love each other...they do...just not the way I want to love my husband someday and for the rest of my life. What I'm saying isn't a secret; I told my mom these very words during the car ride. I asked my mom once if she loved my dad and she told me that she did..."in a spiritual kind of way." What does that mean?! Like, the kind of love that you have to give to your cousin because you are related? That's basically what she meant.

So does the true, mad, deep, passionate love exist? The kind that can last forever? The kind that is so real that it causes the surviving mate to die of a literal broken heart soon after they lose the love of their life? I'd like to believe so. I really want to believe it. Heck, I'd even like to experience it. But will I? I don't know...I doubt it.